conversation at work

i work at a halloween haunted house park
Guy who works in a haunted house: The best part about working in the haunted house is when girls go under the black-light.
Me: Yeah? Why's that?
Guy: If they're wearing a white bra, you can see it glow! Haha like why would you wear a white bra to this place?
Me: uh
Me: i dont get it
Guy: you can see their bras. Its funny.
Me: did you not know girls wear bras? Did you not know girl's have breasts?
Some girl walking past: What? We have... Hold on *looks down shirt* WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
some other boy: HOLY SHIT what the FUCK is under your SHIRT?
girl: I DONT KNOw? BREASTS APPARENTLY??
other boy: *SCREAMING*
girl: *SCREAMING*
me: *SCREAMING*
first boy: uh fine whatever fine i get it jesus christ

bckyb4rnes:

youngmushroom:

hwatlarry:

  • if you are a vegan
  • great!
  • tell me and i will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it
  • but if you ever
  • ever
  • tell me that im a killer
  • or try to make me feel bad
  • for eating meat
  • i
  • will
  • eat
  • you

ok but consider this: you should feel bad.

ok but consider this: i WILL eat you

love my steak

(via nightmarebc)

solluxcaptorr:

When you thought you got over an issue but you actually just repressed it

(via nightmarebc)

nullbula:

ignorntatheist:

If you think eating healthy is cheap you either live with your parents or have never actually been to a grocery store

let me put it this way, i can buy ten ramen or one apple

(via sliceofspoopy)

sectumseverus19:

p0king-sm0t:

dolly-kitten:

SCRUB DUB DUB GOAT IN A TUB

How can you not reblog a soapy baby goat

Goats make me laugh because when they make goat noises their tongue goes out.

sectumseverus19:

p0king-sm0t:

dolly-kitten:

SCRUB DUB DUB GOAT IN A TUB

How can you not reblog a soapy baby goat

Goats make me laugh because when they make goat noises their tongue goes out.

(Source: babygoatsandfriends, via sliceofspoopy)

judarr:

bioweapon543:

tfwnofoxy:

Transphobia/homophobia:

  1. Has gotten people killed
  2. Has gotten people abused
  3. Has gotten people kicked out of their house
  4. Has gotten people raped

Cisphobia/heterophobia:

  1. Has hurt a feeling or two on the internet

So hatred is cool as long as it’s more mild hatred,
Wooot

please stop murdering us and we’ll stop hating you, how does that sound

(via sliceofspoopy)

feaqu:

ask any teenager what type of music they listen to and 99 percent of the time they’ll say ‘anything but country’

(via sliceofspoopy)

herwhisperisthe-jyp:

i had a dream that i was walking around in a shirt with stalks of corn all over it and somebody was like “wtf are u wearing?” and i said “it’s a crop top” i laughed so hard that i woke up

(via rizekial)

maisiewilliams:

you were named after the bravest man I ever knew, xkit guy potter-

(via somethingkindofstrange)

rangerthefuckup:

I’ve been laughing for the past 10 min with no signs of stopping.

rangerthefuckup:

I’ve been laughing for the past 10 min with no signs of stopping.

(via bewbin)

Doctors: Teenagers brains don't fully work until 10am.
Schools: Let's start at 8.
Doctors: But-
Schools: Ya 8 sounds good.
Doctors: ...
Schools: Why are all these students failing?
Schools: Why are they always so tired?
Schools: Why is everyone so stressed out?
Doctors: Fuck you.
Students: I wanna die.

mundanemagpie:

today i learned that mountain lions meow and it sounds RIDICULOUS

(Source: brook, via rizekial)